So I try to avoid uber personal blogs, but I have a lot going on in my mind right now and just need somewhere to get it all out.

At 17 years old my plan was as follows: graduate high school, graduate college, get dream job, get married, have kids by 25 years old.  Pretty standard.

Now, flash forward to today and at 28 years old this is what I've accomplished: graduate high school, graduate college................and that's it.  I have a job, and have had several jobs since high school, but none of them are my dream job.  I had a long term, serious relationship but in the end it didn't work out.  No kids.  Things that I considered to be the most important life goals, and at this point I have no idea how to accomplish them.

In hind sight, I of course see how I got sidetracked.  It just seemed so much simpler when I was younger.  It was as simple as this:  this is what I want, this is what I need to get it, DO IT!  Put the work in, and try to get to my end goal.  As always with life, I've had to go with the flow and adapt my plan as necessary as obstacles popped up, but I would still head in the same general direction on my path of life.

But somehow along the way, I completely lost the path.  I can only barely see it at this point.  Everything that was important to me then, has completely gotten away from me now.  And along followed all the other important things in life that I overlooked, like:  friendships, faith, health, finances, and my sanity.  I kind forgot to factor those things in to my big "plan"

So now I'm slowly finding my way back to my path.  I'm working on my health.  Building my friendships back up and actively working on maintaining them.  Slowly opening my mind to faith again.  Trying to sort out my finances.  And as for my sanity.......well......I'm writing this blog aren't I so you be the judge, lol.  I'm trying to restructure my foundation to build a stronger, more stable me so I can try to attack my goals again.

I already know what I need for my dream job.  But I need to get a little further with my health and finances before I can attack that.  I may possibly look in to adding a master's degree and/or teaching certificate in there along the way.  We'll see.  It's not essential, just a bonus feature.

As for married and kids.  UGH!  I guess I'm saving that for last.  I'm really not in a huge rush for the actual marriage and kids part, but I would at least like a healthy relationship with a nice guy.  I'm just not having much luck in that area.  I've tried going for several different types of guys:  from mature and worldly- to lying dirt bag (not the best choice obviously)- to socially awkward computer nerd with a good heart- to sweet, good ole country boy- to goofy, fun loving good Christian boy.  Nothing seems to be working out.  It's extremely frustrating.  Now I know why guys don't like asking girls out, it really messes with your self-esteem!  I feel like there's something wrong with me now.  The guys I attract are not the ones I should go for, and the ones I go for don't have enough interest in me.  What the heck!

Anyway, I could really go on and on about this.  It's been on my mind a lot lately.  But I think this is a good summation.  I know these feelings are not unique to me.  I know I'm one of a bajillion other 20 something going on 30 somethings out there going through the same problems.  It's just nice to get it out of my mind because I've been feeling really down lately. 

As much as I love talking to my friends and getting their input/opinions sometimes I just want to say what I have to say and be done.  No critiques, no opinions, no judgement.  Just me and my thoughts and the vastness of the internet. 

And I'd like to end with a song that's been stuck in my brain all day!!!!