So last year I had a HUGE crush on a guy that I worked with.  But then I transferred to a different office, so I was like you know what I'm gonna ask him out!  So I did....and he said yes!  But then he rescheduled on me.  And then he cancelled the reschedule.  Turns out he was talking to this other girl at the same time (whatever that's fine, we hadn't even gone on a date yet).  But here's the thing of it, the part that frustrates me.  He chose her because she gave it up on the first date.  And this is where the Pasadena in me kicks in......um, sir, you didn't give me a chance because for all you know I'm a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets.  But then I have to remind myself that, yeah, I'm not that girl.  I know I'm not that girl.  He could tell I wasn't that girl.  So why does that bother me?  It doesn't bother me to be a good girl.  It bothers me that guys are so easily won over by a hoochie!  Rather than give the good girl a chance.  I'm one of those on the fence good girls too, and I think that's the problem.  Not good enough for the good boys, but not bad enough for the dumb guys.  It's really frustrating!  Anyway, I bring this up because I recently found out that he stayed with the hoochie because she got pregnant (which fyi I'm not dumb enough to get pregnant!  Just sayin!)  So he bought her a house and he's gonna try to make it work with her.  He doesn't want to marry her.......but he's gonna stick around cause of the kid.  DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!  And that's what you get for thinking with your little head and not your big one!  And what do I get for being the good girl?  JACK SQUAT!  No house, no boyfriend, no kid (not that I want one right now anyway).  Again I say, frustrating!!

The one good thing that came out of that mess was it did boost my confidence a little, enough to where I asked out another guy and we went on a date.  And it also gave me the push I needed to get myself in better health/shape, so far I've lost 30lbs.  So that's my rant for the day, lol.

Now on to some fun stuff.

Up first an Etsy review.  I might have actually reviewed this seller before, but she's worth a second one!  With winter coming up I wanted to get a few new hats and scarves and I have my go to Etsy shop for that!  It's called ReWorked Designs and she sells awesome handmade hats, scarves, and other goodies.  I've purchased 5 scarves, 6 hats, some knit coasters, potholders, and some washclothes from this seller and I can honestly say she is one of my top favorite sellers on Etsy.  My favorite winter gear that she makes are the slouchy mesh beanies and chain link cowls.  Not only do you get to support someone who is making handmade products, but her hats/scarves are beautiful, comfortable, and affordable!  She also has super quick shipping and usually throws in a little gift  :)

I also want to review another Physicians Formula product.  Their pH Matchmaker Blush in Rose.  I really like this blush, a little goes A LONG WAY.  While I don't see that it changes color to match at all (I had a friend with dark skin try it and to me it appeared to be the same color) it's still a good blush.  I don't get any breakouts from it (as long as I keep the brush clean), and it's a nice pinky just been pinched color.  It's the only blush that I currently use, and it's probably my favority blush by Physicians Formula.  I feel like their other blushes are much more muted in color, and this one is very vibrant which I prefer (I'm a blush junky).  I like the compact it comes in too, might be a bit bulky for some girls, but I like that it's tough enough to be thrown into my backpack without worrying if it'll break or open. 

Ok, gonna wrap this up with a song.  Mumford and Sons- I will wait.  It's just one of those catchy, feel good, makes me smile songs  :)

   

  

So new smoothie recipe first:  Peanut Butter Chocolate Banana Smoothie.  So here's the thing about peanut butter, it's kind of eh for me.  I'll eat it when I'm in the mood, but it's not my favorite thing ever.  With that said, today's smoothie, while peanut buttery, is not overpowering so it would be good for those who like me who can do without usually.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Banana Smoothie Recipe:

8 oz. of 2% milk
1 even scoop of Slimfast Chocolate mix
1 tbsp of smooth peanut butter (I actually may have put a tiny bit less than a full tablespoon as I did not measure)
5-8 slices of frozen bananas
3 large ice cubes
blend until smooth, this is for an individual serving.

You could completely skip the peanut butter really, or put a little more or less depending on your tastes.  But I figured it would be a good protein source for my breakfast smoothie.  Let me warn you now, your smoothie will smell very peanut buttery!  But the flavor is not overwhelming at all, I promise.  You still get a nice chocolate and banana kick.  Overall, delicious smoothie that I will be adding into my smoothie rotation.

Ok, now a review or two or four.

I'm going to review a couple of mascaras I have been using lately.  If you've never read my blog before, let me start by saying I have EXTREMELY senstive eyes.  Most makeups, makeup removers, lotions, etc. irritate my eyes to the point of tears, swelling, and itching.  Which is not a pretty look.  So I'm super picky about eye makeup in particular.  The mascaras I have been using recently are great for extremely sensitive eyes. 
The first two are by Physicians Formula which is a brand geared specifically towards people with sensitive skin and allergies.  One is Organic wear® 100% Natural Origin Mascara.  So pros and cons of this mascara:
Pros=  no irritation AT ALL 
           forget I have it on 
           long lasting               
           no flaking at all 
           lashes do not get "crunchy"

Cons= wand/brush is awkward, not my fav
            formula does not dry per se, remains waxy (but not heavy)
            smudges easily        
            can be a little clumpy, but I blame this on the brush
            not great to wear outside in extremely hot temps (smudging)

The other is Organic Wear Boosting Mascara.  This mascara is only slightly different than the one above.  I would say the only difference is this one does dry more so than the other, so you do get the "crunchy" eyelash feeling.  But it's not horrible.  The wand on this one is a little more awkward as well, because of the shape of the handle.  Overall, these are good mascaras that work great for indoor stuff (great to wear to work).

The next mascara is by Neutrogena.  I think this mascara is kind of the best of both worlds (organic and chemical formulas).  It is the Healthy Volume® Mascara Regular mascara.  It has all the good qualities of the regular chemical formulas (no smudging, drying completely) with the bonus of some of the organic formulas (no irritation, no flaking).  Currenlty, this is the mascara I use the most.  I even like it better than a mascara I reviewed not to long ago, Covergirl's Naturluxe Mousse Mascara.

Ok, last mascara.  So I bought this one against my better judgement because I was sure it would screw with my eyes.  It is Maybelline Great Lash Pop of Purple Limited Edition mascara, which I could not even find on their website to link so I'm guessing they've already done away with it.  I have mixed reviews on this.  This particular color is only good for those girls with fair skin and light colored lashes.  I have very fair skin and blonde eyelashes, so it showed up well enough on me (I also paired it with a magenta colored eyeliner so it brought it out more).  However, my friend who has black lashes and darker skin tried it and you couldn't even tell she had mascara on at all.  It also is not the best for sensitive eyes.  While it didn't drive me completely crazy, it was mildly irritating and I definitely would not wear it on a regular basis.  Still it's pretty, so maybe I'll pop a Zyrtec and put it on for some flair every once in a while.

I wanna add something that has absolutely nothing to do with anything, except that it's insanely cute!  You can watch live feed of a baby panda and it's mom at the San Diego Zoo!!  We have named the baby Sasha in my office :)  Sasha, the baby panda  You'll fall in love! 

And finally, as I tend to do a lot, I'm going to end with a music video of a song that I LOVE right now.  Little Black Submarines by the Black Keys!


       

I've been on a fruit smoothie kick since my birthday back in July.  Great for breakfast or a snack.  Delicious, nutritious, and not as expensive as you would think.

My mom got me one of those Bullet style blenders that makes individual portions, it's a Bella Cucina Rocket Blender. It actually works pretty well for being inexpensive.  I've had it for 4 months, I use it almost every single day, and I tend to overload it most of the time and it's still hanging in there so I would definitely recommend it.  The trick is to blend it once, take the cup off the base and shake it up a bit, and then blend it again to make sure you get all the chunks.

Anyway, so I decided to start blogging my smoothie recipes so I have them to refer back to later.  I'm not a pro smoothie maker by any means, and I usually just make up my own combinations and hope for the best.  But the recipes I plan on listing are pretty yummy.

I cut down the cost of buying fruit by getting the large bags of frozen fruit.  Nothing pre-sweetened or syrupy or anything like that.  Just the plain jane frozen fruit by itself.  Because I add several kinds of fruit into each smoothie, each bag lasts a pretty good while (a month or more depending on the kind of fruit).  I do also buy fresh fruit, just because some things you can't find frozen like watermelon, plums, etc.  But again, because I add several different kinds of fruit to each smoothie I can make one plum last for 3 smoothies.  You can also buy fresh and freeze yourself for later.

Today's recipe is for a Pineapple Blueberry smoothie (I don't ever measure, I just kind of dump stuff in until I reach the fill line on my blender cup so the measurements are guesstimations)

Ingredients: 1/2 - 3/4 cup of fresh blueberries
                  1 - 1 1/2 cup of frozen pineapple chunks
                  2 frozen strawberries (whole)
                  About 5 frozen red grapes
                  2 frozen mango chunks
                  1/2 - 1 cup of Simply Orange with Some Pulp orange juice
                  3 large ice cubes
                  Blend until all large chunks are gone.
                  This recipe is for an individual portion

This smoothie recipe is DELICIOUS!!!  Seriously, one of the best I've made so far.  It does have a slightly weird consistency (almost gelatin like) and I have no idea why.  So if texture is an issue for you, you may want to add more OJ.

When adding whole berries or grapes you'll end up with a thick smoothie because of the skins, seeds, etc.  I do suggest peeling any large fruits such as peaches or plums as their peels are usually thicker and would probably not taste that great in a smoothie.  Also, try to balance out tart fruits like rasberries or blackberries with something sweet like watermelon or cantelope.  Even still, a little of a tart fruit goes A LONG WAY.  So limit them to 2-4 berries/chunks per individual serving (depending on your individual tastes).  Also, make sure to always use some sort of liquid to help the fruit blend.  I really like using orange juice, especially if you can squeeze it fresh, because it gives the smoothie a nice overall freshness and flavor.  But you can use water, apple juice, lemonade, carrot juice, etc.  If you're calorie counting, aim for water or 100% fruit juices (since we're using small amounts, the calories aren't too bad).  You can also add yogurt or milk for a creamier smoothie.  I like using vanilla yogurt sometimes.

I actually enjoy making smoothies and making up new recipes.  You do get some funky ones sometimes, but most of the time they're pretty good.  I added too many blackberries one time and it tasted slightly of vomit, but I drank it down because it was all I had for breakfast, lol.  I hope to update more often with new smoothie recipes as I make them!!
                 
                 

1. I hate feet.

2. I dislike most yankees, with the exception of my family as they are pretty much all yankees.

3. When I was little I used to lick my lips soo much that I developed a red, chapped ring around my whole mouth.

4. I had my first boyfriend in 5th grade.  When he tried to hold my hand, I kicked him.

5. One of the most vivid memories I have of my dad was riding in his truck and he accidentally hit a dog.

6. The one and only fight I've ever been in, in my life, was in 6th grade with my best friend at the time.  To this day, I have never spoken to her again.

7. My first dog was a golden retriever named Rutley.  He was half blind, half deaf, and mentally impaired but I LOVED that dog.  He was the best dog ever.

8. I am deathly afraid of blood and zombies.

9. In jr. high I shaved off my sideburns (not actual sideburns, but in that vicinity).  When the hair started to grow back it stuck straight out, so I started using gel to plaster the hair to the side of my face.......this was not a good idea.........and it gave me the nickname Wolverine in my homeroom class.

10. I was 19 years old the first time I kissed a boy.

11. My mom made me accidentally murder my pet rabbit by giving it a bath. 

12. As a personal rule, I do not go to the funerals. I don't mean it to be rude, doesn't mean I love that person any less, I just can't go to funerals.

13. I can whistle through the gap in my front teeth.

14. I have stolen........recently.

15. My eyelashes are blonde.

16. I have scars on my legs from the first time I tried to shave my legs using my mom's old school razor.

17. One of my front teeth is fake and it doesn't glow in black light.

18. I have never done drugs.  I got drunk once and it was a horrible experience, so now I don't really drink either.

19. My boyfriend's name in the 7th grade was Warren Beatty, like the actor.

20. At one point when I was younger I had 15 pets all at the same time. 


And of course to end with a music video.  I'm obsessed with this song!!

So I try to avoid uber personal blogs, but I have a lot going on in my mind right now and just need somewhere to get it all out.

At 17 years old my plan was as follows: graduate high school, graduate college, get dream job, get married, have kids by 25 years old.  Pretty standard.

Now, flash forward to today and at 28 years old this is what I've accomplished: graduate high school, graduate college................and that's it.  I have a job, and have had several jobs since high school, but none of them are my dream job.  I had a long term, serious relationship but in the end it didn't work out.  No kids.  Things that I considered to be the most important life goals, and at this point I have no idea how to accomplish them.

In hind sight, I of course see how I got sidetracked.  It just seemed so much simpler when I was younger.  It was as simple as this:  this is what I want, this is what I need to get it, DO IT!  Put the work in, and try to get to my end goal.  As always with life, I've had to go with the flow and adapt my plan as necessary as obstacles popped up, but I would still head in the same general direction on my path of life.

But somehow along the way, I completely lost the path.  I can only barely see it at this point.  Everything that was important to me then, has completely gotten away from me now.  And along followed all the other important things in life that I overlooked, like:  friendships, faith, health, finances, and my sanity.  I kind forgot to factor those things in to my big "plan"

So now I'm slowly finding my way back to my path.  I'm working on my health.  Building my friendships back up and actively working on maintaining them.  Slowly opening my mind to faith again.  Trying to sort out my finances.  And as for my sanity.......well......I'm writing this blog aren't I so you be the judge, lol.  I'm trying to restructure my foundation to build a stronger, more stable me so I can try to attack my goals again.

I already know what I need for my dream job.  But I need to get a little further with my health and finances before I can attack that.  I may possibly look in to adding a master's degree and/or teaching certificate in there along the way.  We'll see.  It's not essential, just a bonus feature.

As for married and kids.  UGH!  I guess I'm saving that for last.  I'm really not in a huge rush for the actual marriage and kids part, but I would at least like a healthy relationship with a nice guy.  I'm just not having much luck in that area.  I've tried going for several different types of guys:  from mature and worldly- to lying dirt bag (not the best choice obviously)- to socially awkward computer nerd with a good heart- to sweet, good ole country boy- to goofy, fun loving good Christian boy.  Nothing seems to be working out.  It's extremely frustrating.  Now I know why guys don't like asking girls out, it really messes with your self-esteem!  I feel like there's something wrong with me now.  The guys I attract are not the ones I should go for, and the ones I go for don't have enough interest in me.  What the heck!

Anyway, I could really go on and on about this.  It's been on my mind a lot lately.  But I think this is a good summation.  I know these feelings are not unique to me.  I know I'm one of a bajillion other 20 something going on 30 somethings out there going through the same problems.  It's just nice to get it out of my mind because I've been feeling really down lately. 

As much as I love talking to my friends and getting their input/opinions sometimes I just want to say what I have to say and be done.  No critiques, no opinions, no judgement.  Just me and my thoughts and the vastness of the internet. 

And I'd like to end with a song that's been stuck in my brain all day!!!!

 

 

So I've been at my new job now for almost 3 weeks and I LOVE it!  I never realized how super stressed and exhausted I was, I mean I knew but once I changed jobs and started a normal schedule it felt like a huge mountain sized weight was lifted off of me.  It's nice to actually enjoy work and the people I work with.  And it's definitely nice to not have to worry about getting in trouble or getting fired every day.  My new boss is strict when it comes to following procedures, but as long as you follow the rules she's really laid back.  She's letting me ease into training and get one test down at a time, which is lovely.  My co-workers are great, the atmosphere is great, so far so good!

I'm starting to have a social life again, which is tremendous!  It's great to interact with my friends again on a regular basis!!  It's probably been 4-5 years since I've really had a normal social life.  It's nice to be able to go out on the weekends and not have to worry about whether I get enough sleep before work that night or whether I'll get called in last minute, etc.  And it's opened my eyes again to just how wonderful my friends are.  I'm a pretty lucky girl to have made it into my late 20's with as many good friends as I have and I hope that by hanging out with them more often now I will be able to keep them a lot longer  :)

With all of these new positive changes in my life, it's really put me in a optimistic mood which I hope will last a while.  It's nice to be happy and to look forward to the future.

And I want to end with a few product reviews.

Ever heard of Yes to Carrots?  Well they also make Yes to Cucumbers for sensitive skin.  I LOVE this stuff!!  My favorite product is Facial Towelettes they smell really fresh and clean and leave my face looking healthy.  They're great when you're on the go and you need to freshen you face but don't have time to do the full on face wash.  They're great for healing up acne too, which is a bonus!

Best mascara for sensitive eyes EVER!  Well at least that I've tried so far....is Covergirl's Natureluxe Mousse Mascara.  It doesn't irritate my eyes at all, there is very little flaking, no smudging, lasts all day, and it doesn't feel as stiff as most mascaras while on.  So if you read my blog at all you have heard me say that I have super sensitive eyes and that I used to have to take allergy medicine just to wear eye makeup, well not with this stuff.  There's no itching, no watery eyes, no redness....it's almost like I'm not wearing anything at all.  It gives great length and some fullness to your lashes, which is also nice.  I don't wear anything else now.  The one minor draw back that might bother some (but not me) is that because it's a mousse it takes a little longer to dry than other mascaras.  My fix for this is I put my mascara on first and then I blow dry my hair, while I'm blow drying my hair I have the air go over my lashes too to help dry it quickly.  By the time I'm done with my hair, my lashes are dry and I can proceed with the rest of my makeup (I put mascara on first when I do quick makeup).

Well that's it for now.  I'll be back with more soon  :)

Peace out!

Been watching some movies on the Netflix lately.  Here's some goodies to look for:

1.  TiMER- chic flick about finding true love based on a little timer implanted into your wrist.  Didn't end the way         I wanted it to, but still a cute movie.

2. Chaos Theory- has Ryan Reynolds in it, which is what prompted me to watch it (cause he's HOT).  A dramedy about a man whose marriage/life gets turned upside down and how he handles it.  Cute, funny, and Ryan Reynolds.

3.  Revenge of the Bridesmaids- Another cute chic flick with Raven Symone.  About a group of best friends trying to destroy the wedding of their frienemy.

4.  You Again- Ok, another chic movie but this one is actually really funny so would work well for guys.  Has Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, Kristen Bell, and Betty White.  Very funny movie about high school drama coming back to haunt the characters in a surprising way.


Ok, now on to some more etsy finds.  I have been extremely leery to try any edible goods from etsy, because well I just don't trust people.  However, I found some sellers with a high number of buyers and excellent reviews and decided to give it a try!
First up we have the TeaMan who has a huge selection of hand blended flavored teas, mainly in the black, green, and white varieties.  I got the buyers choice tea sampler, which came with 15 different flavors that I chose.  I got a total of 75 teabags, plus 10 free sample bags, all for $13 total.  You can't beat that at all, especially when it comes with so many different flavors.  So far I have tried the cranberry black tea and the cherry/orang/almond xmas blend black tea, both are delicious!!  Each flavor comes in it's own labeled bag, which is nice.  Shipping time was fine and packaging was appropriate for the item.
To pair with my tea choices I also purchased some flavored sugar cubes from LvngWell aka the Keyhole Bakery and Sweet Shoppe who also sells other sweets and baked goods.  I got the lemon, cinnamon, and vanilla flavored sugar cubes and then received a sample of the ginger flavored too.  The vanilla is very subtle, not as strong of a flavor as I was hoping for, but still good.  The cinnamon is really yummy, it's the perfect cinnamon sugar flavor.  The lemon, while very good, is a little strange texturally.  I believe they actually soaked the sugar in real lemon juice, so these are not dry like the other cubes they're a little soft.  Surprisingly, the ginger is REALLY good.  I'm super picky about atypical flavors, and I consider ginger to be in that group.  It's hard to explain really, the ginger flavor is very strong but not in a gross way.  It leaves a really pleasant after taste.  Mind you, this is from eating the sugar cubes by themselves, just to get an idea of what to expect before I dropped them in my tea.  I have so far used the vanilla and cinnamon in the tea.  They dissolve very quickly and lend a really lovely extra flavor to the tea without being overpowering.  The amount of sugar cubes, while a little less than I thought, is still substantial for the price.  Shipping time is very quick, packaging was fine (although if you live in a hot climate would definitely NOT order during the summer unless you have someone available to take the item inside when it's delivered, otherwise it will be a melted mess by the time you get home).

Ok, so by the way can we just discuss online purchasing from sites such as amazon, etsy, ebay, etc.  where you are buying from an individual seller.  Please do a tiny bit of research before purchasing.  Read the reviews, especially the bad ones.  See exactly how many people have purchased as compared to the number of bad reviews.  If they only have 10 reviews and 3 of those are bad, it's probably best to avoid that seller.  Also, try to stick with sellers that have the option for using paypal.  The more time/work the seller has to put in to sell their items the better the odds that they are hopefully not ripoff artists.  So setting up a paypal, taking good quality pictures of the items, having a large quantity of good reviews, etc.  These are all things you want to look for to ensure an easy, safe, successful transaction between you and the seller.  I buy a lot of items online and have never had any major problems (knock on wood) because I put in the work first before purchasing.  Be safe with your money and your personal information people!!

Let's end with a music video shall we, how about some Sick Puppies- You're going down.  Whenever this song comes on I wanna just rock out so hard, it's one of those great turn it all the way up and scream it out in your car songs.  Plus it kind of makes me feel like a badass.  Enjoy!