It's been over a year since my last post. I have a TON of updates. So here is a quick list of some of the stuff that has happened to me in the past year:
-Got a new job
-Was signed up for a dating site
-Lost my boss at new job, had to take on ALOT or responsibility
-Starting dating guys from dating site
-Lost 10lbs
-TURNED 30!!!!
-Got a raise at new job!
-Got a new boss at new job
-Met a guy from high school on dating site, didn't go well
-Gained 7lbs back
-Met new guy on same dating site, started dating
-Been at new job for a whole year now
-Became serious with new guy from dating site, fell in love
-Got a new tattoo
-Boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago -My amazing friends and family poured their love onto me to help get me through the heartbreak
-Ready to get my ass back in gear with working out! New Year's resolution: lose 50lbs before my next birthday.
-No more waiting for life to happen to me, I will make my life what I want it to be



May not seem like it from such a short list, but the past year has been crazy for me. Even though the year is ending on a sour note, 2013 was actually a pretty great year for me. I think I'm coming in to my own in my 30s. I'm currently heartbroken but optimistic about the future. In a weird way looking forward to 2014.

My coworkers at my not so new anymore new job are AMAZING! It's a very stressful, time consuming job but they really make it worth it. I can honestly say they are my work family.

Diet and exercise started out well for 2013 but I kind of floundered mid-year and never really got back in check. I'm ready to get back on track. I want to be healthy. I want to do fun runs with my friends. Plus working out is a great stress relief that I greatly need. So back on track for me, and I know with my supportive friends who are also working on their health I will meet my goal of 50lbs down by my next birthday. I have work friends and home friends to help keep me on track. The working out part is fine, I enjoy it. And I'm ready to take a positive approach again to food/diet.

Dating......hhmm, I don't know what to say about this subject. In 2013, with the help of my cousin, I was finally comfortable enough to put myself out there into the dating world. Cautious, but ready and willing. Dating has not been super successful this year, unfortunately. But I'm figuring it out. Figuring out what I want in a man, figuring out who I want/need to be in a relationship. My most recent relationship was wonderful, it really was. Until the very end. I just, I have no words really because I'm still confused myself as to what really happened. Bottom line, I fell head over heels for a man. A man that wanted very badly to be in love. A man that is in love with the idea of being in love. A man that rushes head first in to love, and doesn't take the time to make it work. I don't blame him, and I'm not mad. I'm genuinely heartbroken. I wanted things to work out differently, so badly that I made a complete fool of myself by opening myself up to him and exposing myself fully. But according to him, it was too late. Apparently, you can fall out of love with your soul mate in less than 12 hours. I allowed myself to get swept up in the wake of his love, and despite knowing better I rushed right in with him. I knew better, but it felt so right in the moment. It's not his fault, he really thought he loved me. And it's better to find out now that it wasn't real rather than years down the line. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me for me, for who I really am, and loves me regardless of everything. I want a love that will do whatever it takes to make it work, because to me that is what a relationship is. You do what it takes to make it work, you go through the ups and the downs together, and you come out stronger on the other side. Anyway, I will always love him for the good times that we had regardless of the short time period. Because to me it was real. It was whole heartedly real. And now I have learned for my next relationship. I was going to just block all of it out, forget it all. But I need to learn from it, and I will. So I think for now, at least for a little bit, dating will wait a little bit. I'm gonna enjoy myself, I'm gonna grow, I'm gonna sow my oats until I get to the point where I'm ready for dating again.

One thing that he said to me, was I was too free spirited. And you know what, I'm not TOO free spirited.... I'm just free spirited enough. I am me. I am independent. I am mildly free spirited. I do small things that make me happy like change my hair, get piercing/tattoos, and jump in bouncy houses in the middle of the night. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't party, I'm not promiscuous. I am fiercely loyal, I am loving, I try to be kind, and I will give you my all if you accept me. I don't live my life FOR anyone else, but I do want someone who will live life WITH me. I don't want to be 80 years old with regrets because I didn't really live life. To me, life is measured in happiness, not in money or things. And I will do whatever it takes to live a happy life with the people I love. I'm ready to take on 2014 with that same spunk, and after a little bit of healing I'll be ready to find the man that God has made for me to enjoy the happiness of life with.




I hope everyone has a fantastic New Year's, be safe, and be HAPPY! Let's do this 2014!!!